My child won't sleep at night: what can help

If your child takes a long time to fall asleep or wakes several times during the night, you're not alone: it's one of the most common questions at the paediatrician's. In most cases, a predictable routine, fewer screens at the end of the day and a calm bedroom make a real difference within a few weeks. Here is what paediatricians say, and simple tips to try tonight.

How many hours should a child sleep?

The recommendations of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, endorsed by the American Academy of Pediatrics, are:

• Ages 3 to 5: 10 to 13 hours a day, including naps.
• Ages 6 to 12: 9 to 12 hours a day.

Every child is different, so these figures are a guide, not a rule. The best sign is the next day: a child who sleeps enough wakes up without much effort and gets through the day without being constantly grumpy or sleepy.

Why do children wake at night?

Waking at night is part of normal sleep, in adults too. The difference is that many children don't yet know how to fall back asleep on their own. Common causes include:

• going to bed at different times every day;
• screens close to bedtime, which keep the brain more alert;
• too much excitement at the end of the day;
• age-typical fears, such as the dark or nightmares;
• changes in routine: a new school, a new sibling, holidays, moving house.

9 tips for calmer nights

1. Go to bed and wake up at the same time

A regular schedule, at weekends too (with a little flexibility), helps the child's body clock know when it's time to feel sleepy.

2. Create a short routine that's always the same

Bath, pyjamas, teeth, story and lights out. When the steps are always the same, the routine itself starts to bring on sleep. Twenty to thirty minutes is enough.

3. Switch off screens an hour before bed

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends turning off all screens at least an hour before sleep and keeping them out of children's bedrooms (AAP sleep recommendations).

4. Swap the screen for a calm activity

In that last hour, choose quiet activities: reading together, colouring, drawing, doing a puzzle. Hands-on activities calm children down without getting them worked up.

5. Get moving during the day

Playing outdoors and running around during the day helps children reach the evening pleasantly tired. Just avoid very lively play right before bed.

6. A dark, quiet, cool bedroom

If your child is afraid of the dark, a dim night light solves it without disturbing sleep.

7. Have dinner a little earlier and not too much

Going to bed hungry or very full gets in the way. Avoid caffeinated drinks, such as cola and black tea, especially in the afternoon.

8. Respond to night waking calmly and with little talk

If your child wakes, reassure them with few words, little light and no screens. The idea is to show that night-time is for sleeping.

9. Give it time

A new routine needs a few weeks to work. Pick two or three changes, stick with them and adjust as you go.

An idea for the last hour of the day

Many parents use the time before bed for an activity together: a page to colour, a drawing, a story. The Rabiskas kits were created for moments like these: they include an activity book about Portugal and coloured pencils for a few calm minutes as a family, away from screens. It's not a magic solution, but it can help make the routine more pleasant for everyone.

When to talk to the paediatrician

Talk to your paediatrician or family doctor if your child snores a lot or seems to stop breathing during sleep, is always sleepy during the day, has had sleep problems for a long time, or if they are affecting behaviour and school.

Frequently asked questions

Is it normal for a 4-year-old to wake at night?

Yes, waking now and then is normal. What helps is the child being able to fall back asleep with little intervention, which is learned through steady routines.

Does the nap disturb night-time sleep?

At 3 and 4, many children still need a nap. If your child takes a long time to fall asleep at night, try shortening the nap or having it earlier.

This article provides general information and does not replace an assessment by your paediatrician or family doctor.