Is my child addicted to their phone? Signs and what to do

If you feel the phone or tablet takes up too much space in your child's life, you're not alone. Screens are designed to hold attention, and it's hard for a child (and for an adult) to stop on their own. Instead of banning everything, what usually works is agreeing clear rules, having alternatives at hand and leading by example.

Is it really an addiction?

In most cases, we're talking about a habit that's hard to control rather than an illness. Even so, it's worth watching for these signs:

• big tantrums or aggression whenever screen time ends;
• loss of interest in games they used to enjoy;
• sleeping less because of screens;
• thinking about the screen for much of the day;
• an impact on school, meals or friendships.

If several of these signs have been present for some time, talk to your paediatrician or a child psychologist.

How much screen time is recommended?

The World Health Organization recommends that, between ages 2 and 4, sedentary screen time should be no more than 1 hour a day, and says less is better (WHO guidelines for children under 5). From age 6, paediatricians prefer consistent rules to a fixed number: screens shouldn't take time away from sleep, physical activity, school and family time.

8 steps to cut screen time

1. Make a family plan

Agree on when, where and for how long screens are used. The American Academy of Pediatrics has a free tool for this (Family Media Plan).

2. Screen-free zones and times

Meals, the bedroom and the hour before bed are the three most important places to keep screen-free.

3. Cut back gradually

Cutting everything at once usually leads to more conflict. Reduce a little each week and stick to what you agreed.

4. Give a warning before the end

"Five minutes left" helps the child get ready. A visible timer takes the adult out of the "bad guy" role.

5. Have alternatives at hand

When the screen goes off, the child needs to know what to do next. A box with pencils, modelling clay, games and books somewhere easy to reach solves many moments.

6. Accept boredom

A bit of boredom is good. It's often where a child comes up with a new game.

7. Lead by example

Children copy what they see. Putting our own phone away during family time is the hardest rule and the most effective.

8. Play together

Ten minutes of full attention, playing or drawing with your child, makes a big difference.

A ready-made box of alternatives

We created the Rabiskas kits with these moments in mind: an activity book about Portugal and traditional wooden games, such as the spinning top, dominoes and noughts and crosses, all in a backpack. They don't replace rules or conversations, but they help you always have an alternative ready when the screen goes off.

Frequently asked questions

Should I take the phone away as a punishment?

Using screens as a reward or punishment tends to make them even more desirable. Fixed rules that don't depend on the day's behaviour work better.

Do educational games count too?

They count as screen time. They may have good content, but they still take up time for sleep, movement and free play.

This article provides general information and does not replace an assessment by your paediatrician or a psychologist.